A Letter to Father Flynn
by Jay-Birdy
Summary: Two weeks after Father Flynn leaves St. Nicholas Church and school he receives a letter from Donald Muller. "Doubt" belongs to John atrick Shanley. There was no Category for Doubt, so I'm setting up shop here. This was written for my English assignment.


_This was written for my Creative Response in my English class. I just thought I'd post it up here as it kinda counts for fanfiction. Also, I wanted to see what other people thought about it. Enjoy._

_A letter from Donald Muller to Father Flynn, sent two weeks after Father Flynn is promoted to Pastor at St. Jerome. _

14th November, 1964

St. Jerome's Church and School

Dear Father Flynn,

Are you enjoying your new job? St. Jeromes sounds like a nice enough school, and I remember you told me you wanted to work your way up to being a Pastor. I hope you are happy. We we're good friends when you were here. Have you made friends at St. Jeromes? There are so many things I want to ask you. So many things I want you to tell me.

You used to tell me a lot of things, we used to talk a lot. I miss that. I suppose it's not as easy now, now that your at St. Jeromes. You stopped talking to me before that though. Why did you stop talking to me? Did I do something wrong? Is it because of what happened in the Rectory? What have I done?

I suppose I just sound whiny and girly to you, but things have started getting worse at the school. The kids at school have started picking on me again, now that you're not here. Mum says it's just till June. Then I can leave St. Nicholas, and go to high school. She says I'll make plenty of friends there. I won't. People don't like me very much. You said it was because they were intolerant and not very smart. Father doesn't even like me, says I'm dirty and disgusting. What if I am? Maybe it's not intolerance but the fact I'm intolerable.

It's not just that the students do not like me. The teachers aren't very close to me, but then again, ever since you left, the teachers here have grown even more distant from the students. It's like they're afraid to talk to us – to treat us as equals. It's like as soon as we step outside their classroom, we're someone else's problem. Once we're no longer in their classroom, we might as well not exist. I think they're all scared of what the Headmistress might think if they do try to connect to us.

The Headmistress has been keeping a very close watch on me, ever since you left. My teacher, Sister James, has too. Sister James sometimes stops me in the hall, to ask how I am. It's not the same as how you used to ask after me. I appreciate her concern, though.

I know that they talk about me, the Headmistress and Sister James. I know that they talk about you, too. The Headmistress's face puckers up as if she just tasted a lemon every time I mention you. I seem to do that a lot. What did I do to make her so angry? Is she still mad at me, and at you, about the altar wine? Does she even know what really happened in the rectory?

Do you know why she doesn't want me having a friend? I don't understand why she she doesn't like talking to you, or about you. You were kind to me and the Headmistress seemed to think something was wrong. I don't understand what. She confuses me. I just can't stand the way she stares at me, it makes going to school in the morning daunting, just to know she'll be there watching me.

Things aren't too good at home though. Mum still looks out for me, but Father calls me a girly boy. He doesn't like that I keep my fingernails perfectly clean – just like you. He doesn't like that I brush my hair carefully. He doesn't like that I enjoy reading sometimes, that I'm not the best at sports or even that I write letters. Father doesn't like a lot of things about me. I do a lot of things wrong, in his eyes. Maybe they're just wrong in general. Father Flynn, you told me it was okay to care about my personal appearance and not be best at sports, but Father doesn't like me mentioning you much either.

Is there something wrong with me sending a letter? Is it girly? Have I done something wrong, or, have you done something wrong? I can't believe you would though. You always had the right answer or solution or knew whatever was needed. Do you know then, why Father is so suspicious about you and me and what's going on in the school?

Father got very cross about the discussion Mum, Monsignor Benedict and the Headmistress had. The one they had right before you left. Even though Mum said it was just about you being promoted, he still didn't like it. Father said something smelt fishy. He said Mum wouldn't need to know about that, he said that maybe you were getting accused of something. Something to do with me. Said it was all because of me.

I just want you to come back here. I want you to talk to me again. You could always make me feel good about who I was. You called me smart once. You were very friendly to me, you stayed back late to help me with homework, you helped me with a lot of other stuff. I don't understand what's happened to the school, with all the pointed stares I get from the Headmistress, I can bet it's my fault somehow.

I know that you would tell me if something was wrong. You had said you would, because we were friends. We are still friends, is something wrong? Why did you really leave?

I miss you and I'm sorry.

Donald Muller


End file.
